One Thing I Can Hold On To
by whowhatsitwhich
Summary: Living just to survive isn't living. There has to be more to it than that. Written for the USS Caryl Music Lyric Drabble/Fanart Challenge on Tumblr.


One Thing I Can Hold On To

Song: Angel from Montgomery

Lyrics: _I am an old woman named after my mother_  
_ My old man is another child that's grown old_  
_ If dreams were thunder lightning was desire_  
_ This old house would have burned down a long time ago._  
_ Make me an angel that flies from Montgomery._  
_ Make me a poster from an old rodeo._  
_ Just give me one thing I can hold on to. To believe in this living is just a hard way to go. _  
_ **All credit to John Prine as songwriter and Bonnie Raitt for her inspired performance_

Warmth flooded through her in an unending tide, eddies and currents leaving nothing untouched. She twisted and stretched, trying to prolong the moment, to wring every drop out of each precious second. His hands slid over her, rough and gentle at the same time, tender in a way she never thought him capable of. She'd seen glimpses, little hints that under the leather and sweat was the soul of a poet. This, though, was something entirely unexpected.

His lips found hers, asking and not demanding, and she gratefully complied. He drank like a man lost who'd just found salvation. She trembled with the weight of it, pressing her into the cushions and molding her to fit what he needed her to be. Her limbs moved of their own accord, twining around him like a vine, and pulling him closer. Close enough to break the terminus line, until there were no barriers left. No him. No her. No distance between them.

A fleeting part of her mind wondered at her actions, her willingness to lose herself in him. It was unthinkable, unforgivable because she'd had nothing to call her own for so long. That little voice inside her that sometimes sounded like her mother whispered that this was just another in a long line of bad decisions. He wasn't Heaven...just another form of Hell that she'd walked willingly into and when it came crashing down, she deserved what she got. That voice had kept her frozen, afraid for most of her life.

She buried her face in his neck, let the panting rush of his breath drown it out. He pulled back then, cornflower blue eyes questioning, watching and waiting for her to give him a sign that they were alright and that she wanted this, wanted him. Her lips turned up at the corners, hands twisted in sweaty strands to pull him back down, lips and tongues meeting and meshing...reassuring in a way that words left wanting. He understood. Of course he did. They were the same, their past written in ropy white lines on their flesh. So much taken away, so much sacrificed. Both of them old before their time….looking at the world through pain filled eyes.

Blood roared through her veins, heart pounding like thunder. Fire kindled low and burst like a dam breaking, burning and consuming all that she was and would ever be. She heard him groan, felt his hips roll, felt him start to come apart. This was what she wanted...to live, to be alive. This was what would make it all worth it in the end. Her muscles clenched as something wound tight..coiling and straining...before letting go. Her vision went white as the world turned inside out, flying and falling at the same time.

"Carol," his voice brought her back. That molasses slow drawl flowed around her name like water, turning it into something beautiful...something cherished. Lips found her temple, his scruff pricking her skin and sending a shiver dancing its way down her spine. He shifted, tucked her into the curve of his body, and pulled her close. "Alright?"

"Perfect," she whispered back, her head finding its place in the crook of his shoulder. The steady thrum of his pulse lulled her, slowed her breath, closed her eyes. This, she thought, this was worth fighting for, worth dying for but more importantly...worth living for. This was something she could hold on to the next time the world got dark.

Finis...

A/N This was written as a fill for the USS Caryl Music Lyric/Fanart Challenge on Tumblr. Thanks and kudos to them for the lovely idea. Show them some love...pretty please. Thanks for reading.


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